Ex Marks the Spot
-SJB
4 min read
In New York, there’s always room for improvement.
New restaurants open daily, quickly adjusting to the trends of millennial society: vegan-ism, the paleo diet, “let’s find a way to drink our lunch,” and spending the most money on the least possible amount of calories. New rooftops and nightclubs occupy our nights, filled with meeting new people and new experiences.
It’s not a surprise that we call it “New” York.
As New Yorkers, we seem to be launching ourselves into the future. We present ourselves as ready for trends, prepared to latch onto the “newest” or the most “in,” and throw the old away.
But are we going to ignore the fact that all of SoHo is dressed in Jordache Jeans? Or that somehow the smudged eye makeup trend snuck back from the ‘80s?
In terms of trying to embrace the “new,” why do we tend to return to our history books?
As a society so intensely focused on change, can we completely let the past go?
The past: gone forever, or easily revived?
In terms of relationships, some people would argue that the past is as good as gone. But those people don’t live in New York City, the world where your ex is now dating your other ex’s ex. In fact, on the streets of Manhattan, it’s probably more likely to see your ex than the man you’re currently dating.
…but that’s a different headache.
Relationship statistics surprisingly show that the past is not as out of style as we might’ve previously thought. A few years ago, the Associated Press asked 2,000 individuals if they have ever tried to get back together with their ex.
The answer? A total of 41% attempted to revive their relationship.
The University of Texas did a study on relationships that break up before starting college. Rene Dailey, head of the study, found that 65% of those relationships eventually got back together.
The Journal of Adolescent Research eventually joined the bandwagon and found that 50% of people have attempted to rekindle a broken relationship.
These are big numbers, people.
Wait, wait, continue reading before texting your ex. Please.
Chris Seiter, a relationship guru, took on 10 clients in 2018, and succeeded in 7 of them getting back together with their exes.
Punch line: 3 of those 7 couples eventually broke up again.
Getting back together with an ex sounded like a good idea. But does the past truly last?
When, if ever, is it time to let the past go?
Our modern day past-obsessed historian is none other than the boss of fashion: the runway.
Quick sneak peek: this Fall/Winter’s runway trends include glitter, shoulder pads, and super tailored blazers and trousers. If you’re above the age of fifty or have seen Sixteen Candles, this will probably sound familiar.
That’s right, folks: the ‘80s are back. Listen, we girls—we just want to have fun.
Historians will often say that nothing is ever new, but rather a reincarnation of the past. These “trends” can last anywhere from 3 months to 5 years. Once the trend is over, sociologists assume about 20 years until the trend is back in style.
Do not take this as permission to text your ex from 20 years ago.
The past was always in style. Back in the 1800s, Napoleon’s wife, Empress Josephine, dressed herself in white dresses that were reminiscent of classical Greece and Rome. In the 1960s, ‘70s, and ’80s, fashion trends debuted on about a 30 year cycle. Since the late 1990s, trends are in, out, and back in, in a mere 20 years.
With fashion, it seems that the past is never too far behind us. But should we revisit it as often as we do? And in terms of relationships, is it wrong to reconnect with an ex wearing our high school jeans?
This summer, we reconnected with the unexpected (a giant fashion faux-pas, if you will): the tie-dye trend. Known for its psychedelic style, tie-dye was brought back from the dead with the help of designers Prada, Proenza Schouler, and Stella Mccartney. Lyst, a fashion search platform, reported that tie-dye is one of the fastest growing fashion search keywords this year.
With the newest trends being much chicer than tie-dye (sorry not sorry), we can’t help but question its revival.
Harper’s Bazaar recently interviewed R13 founder Chris Leba on his decision to let tie-dye completely take over his 2019 collection.
Leba mentioned a key element of the tie-dye revival: the political atmosphere. “…I think that tie-dye can be viewed as a peaceful, but defiant protest against conservatives,” he says. “In some ways, there are a lot of similarities in terms of the backdrop then and now. In the 60s, we had…students protesting against the conservative right. Now we have…women, immigrants, and the LGBQ community fighting for their rights.”
Whether you disagree or agree with Leba’s perspective, he makes an interesting point: tie-dye was revived because it had a reason to be revived. After the ‘60s, tie-dye went “out” because it was no longer relevant to the times—and now that it is, it’s back in style.
With the past, there are plenty reasons to return: it’s reliable, convenient, and predictable.
But in the case of tie-dye, it wasn’t brought back because of convenience. Instead, it was brought back because it had a reason to be back.
So is the past really ever gone?
No, I don’t think so. But does that mean we should return?
If we are to return, we should return for the right reasons: an ex or fashion trend is newly “relevant” in our lives. Let’s conclude that convenience and predictability are not a reason to wear tie-dye.
… “so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
-The Great Gatsby
SHARE:
