The New “Boo”

-SJB

• 3 min read

Decline. Decline. Decline. 

Sixteen phone calls later, you sigh and, at last, accept that you grudgingly had partaken in this year’s biggest trend (excluding cauliflower rice, of course):

Ghosting.

As defined by Merriam-Webster (the dating Bible, apparently?), “ghosting” is “the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, instant messages, etc.” 

The phrase was coined in 2007, but has rapidly caught on in the recent years, expanding to include phrases like “orbiting” (ghosting and continuing to “like” social media posts), “shelving” (ghosting because of a busy work schedule), and “cloaking” (ghosting and blocking that person on all social media platforms).

Because Halloween isn’t a year-round event, and the days of “oh, I didn’t see your call!” are way behind us, it’s time that we ask the burning question:

Why do we ghost?

In a society where we pride ourselves on being honest and vocal, why do we avoid ending relationships? Why would we rather say “Boo!” than title someone our “boo”?

With the development of technology, contacting someone has become incredibly easy. Therefore, avoiding someone’s calls and texts has logically become more common. 

But when did ghosting become a societal norm, and why are millenials infamously known for this odd act?

Jack Kelly, writer for Forbes, explains, “Ghosting has its origins in the social media world of the Millennial and Generation Z crowd. Young folks realized it's much easier to just abruptly...disappear rather than take the time and energy to explain why they want to break up or end a relationship.”

Ouch. 

In the scope of things, it’s always more convenient to ignore a relationship, instead of ending it. But do we really ghost because we don’t want to “take the time and energy” to end things?

Let’s be honest: when it comes to relationships, are we really the “lazy” millennials that we’re constantly titled?

In the workforce, millenials have it rough: among many other criticisms, we’ve been called “lazy” by some of the biggest news sources (and somehow, it’s all because of our iPhones?)

Emily Austen, the chief executive of Emerge, says that millennials in the workforce are “both lazy and entitled.” 

It gets worse: Frank Chung speaks about the “lazy millennial” issue in his article for the New York Post titled, “Why ‘lazy’, ‘entitled’ millennials can’t last 90 days at work.”

In April, Chase Bank came under fire for this cringe-worthy tweet, complaining about the “lazy” habits of our generation:

I’m sure you’ve heard this all before. 

But even though these articles are written with strong resentment towards millenials, science doesn’t quite back them up. Actually, according to statistics, millenials are one of the most hard-working generations ever. 

A survey from Citigroup and Seventeen Magazine found that 80% of both college and high school students take at least a part-time job during the school year—a higher rate than ever before. Additionally, according to research by Bentley University, more than half of millennials are willing to work long hours and weekends to achieve career success.

Ya hear that, Chase?

But wait: if we’re not super-millennial-lazy in the workforce, then why don’t we put the same effort into ending relationships? 

In her article titled “Things Millennials Have Less Of,” Maria Casciano speaks about the things our generation has simply discarded. One important highlight: despite our constant #socialrights campaigns and KUWTK binge-watching, millennials are known to have a lot less drama than any other generation. It seems that millennials prefer to live minimally, without the drama and complications that previous generations have.

Here’s the minimal millennial scoop: the “ghosting” trend should not be considered “lazy.” Instead, the trend simply reflects different mindset on what is considered “necessary,” and a choice to live without the “unnecessary.”

Ghosting is not ignoring a relationship because of laziness; ghosting, in a way, acknowledges a relationship (because we all know you received those texts, right?). It’s simply a choice to end the relationship less dramatically.

Sometimes, ambiguity is the perfect ingredient to a breakup, if the relationship wasn’t so meaningful: it’s just less drama, and leaves the option open for a possibility to reconnect.

But…being honest and vocal is probably a better idea.

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